Oops, I did it again

Dear all,

I am SO sorry. I’ve just clocked on that I haven’t blogged this year at all. For someone who likes a good ramble I’ve been absolutely shocking with maintaining this. I won’t lie, I need to use my blog for the next uni module, so thought I better blow the cobwebs off it first.

I suppose I better say, ‘Happy 2015’? Better late than never, right? Well, a lot has changed since I last posted. I’ve started a new job, found a better boyfriend and gotten rid of my fringe. The fringe is the biggie though, to have a forehead after almost not seeing it since I was 15, is a monumental step. Now everyone can see when I raise my eyebrows, so I really have to watch that now. Plus, I’ve noticed that some serious lines appear when I do it so I’m going to knock that on the head. I’m now working over in Malvern & driving all my new work colleagues up the wall. I think the, ‘what is everyone having for dinner?’ is probably going to start wearing a bit thin. On a good note, at least I’m not chained to my desk anymore and I’ve vastly improved my hill starts! Whey!

I suppose I better mention the better boyfriend. He’s another elusive ‘A’ name (where do I find them, honestly?!) and everything seems to be going okay. He hasn’t quite learnt to do the washing up when he’s here and my alcohol consumption levels have gone up a fair bit since he came on the scene, but he’s a good one. According to my folks and my best friend, having him around has made me a happier person. Cue the awws.

If you’re wondering what happened to Lowen, he is the only thing that hasn’t changed. He’s still a pesky little s*** and still hating on me. On a good note, he absolutely loves my boyfriend. I’ve never seen anything like it; he turns all soppy and cute animal-like it’s sickening. He never does that with me. He’s still digging out his litter tray and I’m still threatening to re-home him. At the moment, no one seems to want him because they all know what he’s like. Little devil.

Over the next couple of months, I’ll be exploring the idea of freelancing writing sites and what they’re all about. I have used a few of them in the past and I’ve always been skeptical about whether they are a viable way to make money. For the final part of my MA, I am exploring this, so expect some very informative, sensible and intellectual posts. I’ll be back writing like a crazy woman in the summer. I suppose I better go have a cup of tea. Writing is thirsty work.



Dear you and everyone else,

I laid in bed last night and I was thinking how amazing ‘car’dor’ would be for a blog title. I know I am losing the plot by laying in bed on a Saturday night thinking about what I am going to blog about next. The reason for the weird title is because I had a bit of a barney with a really chavvy woman on the way to Tesco yesterday afternoon. I was driving along minding my own business, at the speed limit may I add, the next thing I know, some fruit loop in a Clio just pulls out on me. There’s me, slamming the brakes on and tooting away, then, she pulls right up beside my car door and starts shouting abuse at me through the window. I mean, here’s this crazy b**** who looked like she was straight out James Turner Street giving me lip because I tooted at her when it was her fault. Of course, I had to yell back and it went along the lines of, ‘What do you think you’re doing you silly t***?’. In the end, I stuck my middle finger up at her and drove off. I was shaking with rage all the way to Tesco. You know when you furiously drive off and you’re muttering to yourself about an incident like that all the way home? That’s what I did. I also think I told at least three people about it to make myself feel better.

In other news, yesterday was my Dad’s sixtieth Birthday. I wasn’t there to celebrate with him as him and my Mum have jetted off to New York for a week. They’ve also managed to slip in a trip to Niagara Falls too. My Dad turning sixty has made me feel really quite old, despite only being in my early twenties. Myself and my Dad don’t have as close a relationship as I do with my Mum, however, I do know that he always has my back if I need it. While he advises me to ‘not bring trouble to his door’, he is always quick to want to hurt anyone who hurts me. There’s only one name on that list, but we won’t go into that. I’ll include a truly fine picture of my Dad at the end of this post. I think I get my weirdness from him.

Today I am going to try and do some Uni work and hope for the best. I am pretty hungry and I could really murder a cup of tea. The problem is as well I have just gotten an Amazon Prime membership (on the cheap as well because I am a student!!) and I have been sitting about watching episodes of The West Wing. I know it’s only TV, but I love the Communications team and the way they run about drafting speeches and reading in between the lines. Essentially, creating spin. This is why I love Alastair Campbell, too. Sometimes I think I want to get involved in copywriting and writing all clever. I know that my MA course will help me go in that direction because it’ll prepare me for writing for business and the ‘real world’. Don’t get me wrong, I love writing stories, but I think my passion lies in writing real stuff. I’d love to see me and my crazy voice with a column in a newspaper or even writing press releases. This is all a bit deep for a Sunday afternoon, isn’t it?

Okay, I’m going to go and have a cup of tea before I die of thirst. Plus, Shania Twain just came on Spotify and I’m not sure I’m in the mood for that. Usually, ‘I’m Gonna Getcha’ would make me feel a little evil (don’t ask) but it’s just annoying me this morning. I have done about three hundred words for Uni so I think that means I deserve a break. I did give myself until Wednesday to get this specific bit done, so I think I’m okay for now. I mean, I won’t work well if I don’t have tea…



Penny for the Poor

Dear you & everyone else,

I think this week has been the worst week in the history of weeks. I’ve had arguments with people I hold most dear and I think I’ve pretty much lost the plot. It all started really well after the weekend, I had my friend Alex come over from Spain and we did delightfully eventful things such as go cushions. Yes, my best friend visits me and I take her cushion shopping. I really know how to treat a girl. To be fair, they are the cutest pillows and they make my room look 10x better, but I think I would’ve preferred to spend the time living it up knocking a few mojitos down my neck, but beggars can’t be choosers. We must’ve visited Homebase at least three times in 24 hours, so because I am so pleased about these cushions, a picture will be at the bottom of the blog post!

I can’t remember if I said that I was switching banks or not, I think I did. Anyway, that’s all gone through, though I have some money sitting in my old current account that I can’t transfer or take out because they’re processing the account to be closed. So there I was this evening, tea in hand (of course), on the phone to the bank trying to get them to resolve it. I got a delightfully Welsh person on the other end of the line who was most unhelpful and told me I have to ring back tomorrow before 6pm. We’ll see how that goes tomorrow. If they turn around and tell me they have no record of my money, I may just hit the roof. That’ll prove to be an interesting blog post so if you don’t hear from me, assume it’s turned out okay.

In other news, Lowen is moulting really bad. Everytime I touch him he is shedding his summer coat, so my cream carpet in places is now a beautiful shade of grey. I’ve been trying to brush it and pull some of it out, but trying to catch a rabbit that hates is turning into a bit of a mission. I only have to touch him on his backside and he’s grunting away and running to the other end of the room. It’s like living with Mariah Carey in rabbit form; such a diva. Again, picture to follow at the end of his lovely new mohawk that I did for him. I managed to take that picture when he was in a good mood, a rare moment I assure you.

I don’t think I have anything else to report back at the moment, apart from I think the next week or so is going to be mighty busy. I thought I’d take the opportunity to say hello to you all and to let you know that I haven’t dropped off the face of the Earth. I would usually sign this off by saying I’m off for a cup of tea, but I’ve reached my quota today. A little disappointing, but if I have another, I won’t sleep and to quote my gran, run the risk of ‘being up all night’. Sometimes I think I have the mental age of an eighty year-old. It could be a lot worse, I guess.

Over and out.

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Blogging Away

Dear you and whoever else,

The summer has gone way too fast and it’s actually just hit me that September is next week and everyone is back to school/uni. I have enjoyed sitting on my couch watching reruns of Friends way too much; not to mention the buckets of tea I have been drinking in the process. We had the bank holiday at the start of the week and I spent the day getting all Mary Berry while it was tipping down outside (pics at the bottom)! Needless to say, my bread looked really nice, but then when I cut into it, it was spongey and just generally gah. I did make some shortbread too and that seemed to go down well with the folks at work. We were all sat there with our 10:30am coffee nomming on some shortbread whilst pretending to work!
But on a reflective note, August has been a month of change all round. A lot of things have happened in terms of personal life, I’ve eaten a lot of steak and I am STILL unpacking boxes from having moved house in July. I was aiming to do two boxes a week, but that plan kind of fell through…I blame Friends and Sky TV in general!
I also had an unpleasant experience with a certain bank this week (starts with H and ends in C). For the first time ever, I went into my overdraft and they thought it would be cool to charge me £50 for the privilege. If I had even gone into my overdraft by that much, then fair enough, I may have paid it, however, it was a measly amount! I called them up and played the ‘dumb girl’ who didn’t realise her graduate account had switched to a normal bank account. That didn’t go down well and the chap on the other end on the phone ended up giving me a lecture on how to manage my ‘financial difficulties’. As you can imagine, that didn’t go down well with me at all. I don’t think anyone likes to be patronised, right? It’s all good though, I’ve been down to another bank today and switched over my current account. It felt like a two fingers up to the other bank, which I was a bit like woohoo about 🙂 Everyone has been trying to get money out of me this month (solicitor, DPS, the bank), so I felt it was important to not be mugged off!
I just realised I’ve been wittering pointlessly. I’ve had my cup of tea so I can’t use that as an excuse to stop typing. I think Lowen is still doing a dirty protest (he rearranges his litter tray – not the best I assure you) and he is thrashing about trying to get my attention. I think he is hungry. Well, I best sort him out otherwise he’ll think his throat will have been cut.
Here’s to a successful September, over and out.
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Up the Cobbles

Dear you & everyone else,

I feel like I need to rant. You know when you’ve had an amazing day (maybe not because it is Monday) and then something happens that completely craps on your mood? Well that just happened. Everything was going swimmingly, work was okay and the weather was relatively pleasant, but then I just got home and BAM. I even managed to get through Coronation Street without hurling my Deirdre mug into the TV that someone picked up for me at the Corrie tour (see below for pic). Lowen is trying to destroy the new setup in his cage as well – there is not a night that goes by where he doesn’t try and rearrange it and get cat litter everywhere. Lowen 5, Sam 0. So that’s going so well.
It just feels like I keep giving and giving and then getting sweet FA back. I know this is a bit deep for a Monday, but at the moment, there is isn’t anyone else appropriate to rant to as that would raise a few eyebrows. I just think I’m going to have to seriously re-evaluate what’s going on and put myself first for a change. Lowen can come after me because he’s so god damn grumpy.
I’m going to have a cup of tea in my Deirdre mug. I’m just furiously typing away here and I think the next episode of Corrie is coming on in the next few mins. For the record, I don’t watch it religiously but you can’t be too picky on a Monday evening.

Flipping Heck.

Dear you & everyone else,

I’m back! I think I dropped off the face of the earth for at least three weeks, and everything feels all weird and new now! You’ll be pleased to know I am back from my holiday and I have moved house. I am still surrounded by boxes, but my excuse is, the man isn’t coming until Sunday to put my wardrobe together, so I have a bit of time.
There’s been so much change and instead of worrying about an even tan and what book I’m going to be reading, I’ve been faffing on with wallpaper, cleaning my oven in my old property and hurling abuse at pedestrians who dare walk in front of me. I’ve also found that now I have Sky installed, I am watching copious amounts of The Crystal Maze. I am convinced I would be much better than half of the contestants and none of them seem to have half a brain between them. I’d have to be team captain as well, although, I don’t think the jumpsuit would suit me.
Lowen is slowly adjusting to his new home and I have fenced him off so that he has a little play area. He hates the fact he can’t just run around and scatter hay across my living room, but he has to realise that this is my home firstly. It’s nice not to have to box off all the wires to stop him chewing them!
I would love to write a longer post but I have jacket potatoes in the oven. I think they’re at that stage where the skin is getting a bit too crispy, plus, I have to put the prawns on the plate and cover them in plenty of black pepper. Oh, there goes the timer. I hope to be fully with you in the next couple of days, assuming Challenge don’t put a marathon of The Crystal Maze on. That would be really amazing.

Bagging It

Dear You,

It’s so hard being a four eyes isn’t it? I thought I’d sit down and write on the ol’ blog but I can’t see the flipping screen for excess smearing and steaming up. Bit like when you’re in the car and you’re screeching ‘we’re steaming up!’, as if a bomb had dropped. I’ve just finished doing some Pilates for the night, as you do on a Friday evening, because my life is soooooooooo interesting. That’s why I’m steaming up. I found this link online called ‘Blogilates’ and I am following the monthly Pilates plan. I am on Day 3 and I haven’t given up yet so I must be onto a winner. Although having to get my yoga mat out in the front room every evening is probably interesting for the neighbours. Even Lowen likes a bit of it, he comes out and starting eat the mat every time. I always knew pink was his colour 😉

Today has been an odd day. At work we are raising money for Centrepoint (homeless charity) and we had to come in dressed as superheroes. My side of the office thought it would be an amazing idea to come in as ‘Super…markets’ (pic to follow at the bottom) and sport some carrier bags instead! Everyone else rocks up in their Batman and Power Rangers outfit, and there is us…with plastic bags on. I somehow drew the short straw and got M&S, only for it to say ‘forever fish’ on the front. Take what you wish from that (!), green is certainly not my colour! I’ve also been picking out more paint for the new house. I seem to be loitering around Homebase more times than ever and my cups of tea intake has had to be cut in half because I’m always out! I have noticed this because I managed to make 4 pints of milk last week and that NEVER happens. I might have a cup when I finish rambling on to you; writing on here always seems to come back to tea? I think I have problems…But yes, if I have to see anymore shades of cream and white that now go by pretentious names as ‘Barley White’ and ‘Seldom Seen’. Who comes up with that trash? Whatever happened to good old-fashioned ‘White’ on the tin? I appreciate that white on it’s own is a little much and is seen in the Daz adverts, but the more choice I have the harder it is! My walls at the moment are like a patchwork quilt for all the sampling I have been doing! My poor painter is going to have a job getting rid of all of that; he’ll probably have to put a few coats on.

Well I suppose this is farewell from me tonight, after doing the minimal exercise I am a little bit peckish and I am sure there is a packet of BBQ Hula Hoops in the cupboard with my name on them. Must not forget the cup of tea.

Where’s my tea?

Dear you,

I read the last blog post back and bloody hell wasn’t it a bit miserable? It was a bit like the weather outside today and maybe I should learn to be a bit more happy! On a positive note, it’s Saturday and I’m going to drink so much tea today I am going to turn into a teapot. Particularly when the weather is like this, there is nothing nicer than just sitting in and being all ‘ahhhhhhh’ when you take that first sip. I think it’s the Northern girl coming out in me, my family has tea on tap. 

I’m trying to throw myself into my Uni work today, but I just can’t keep my eyes open after spending most of the early hours glued to my phone in bed. You know you’ve been on it too long when you start to get a headache because the phone light is so bright? That happened. I thought about turning the screen brightness down, but figured I wouldn’t be able to get it back to the right setting this morning. On a good note, it was the best nights sleep I’ve had in a while; I had a delightfully frank conversation with someone, which I think has made things a lot clearer. I have no idea who reads this who knows me so I won’t name names. Maybe we’ll get to names next month. 

I’m doing some crazy things on media strategy for this week’s Uni work, of which I have no idea. I mean I have a blog, a Twitter, LinkedIn, all the usual stuff, but I have no idea really what I’m wanting to do with it. As you can tell, I like to ramble, and I use this as procrastination from life’s important tasks. I’m not sure if I even want to write fiction, or non-fiction for that matter, so maybe I am better off just keeping on rambling? Does rambling sell? Probably not. I’ll have to have a think about it over a cup of tea. Might even have a cheeky banana too.

So long, farewell

Dear you,

I realise now it’s been over a year since my last post, so it’s safe to say I have been slacking a little. It has been a turbulent start to the year; I’ve started my MA course, broke up with my boyfriend, liked someone completely inappropriate, lost my best friend and purchased a house. I’ve only come across this again as for Uni we are looking at the use of social media/blogging for writing. These days, I am that busy drinking tea, making sure tenant references are completed and chasing Lowen (the rabbit) around the living room that I’ve kind of forgotten what’s important.

I know this is all a little depressing but so far this year has tested my mental strength. Separating from the big A after 4 years took some adjustment, however, it was going downhill anyway so there’s no love lost there. For the record, I wish him every success as long as I get all my money back. I’ve had some interesting conversations and moments with men, which has made me realise that most men of my age are complete idiots and have no idea how to treat women. I mean, one of them thought it was okay to be a f*** buddy – that didn’t last long. Now, I’ve found myself in an awkward position that also occurred late last year (I sense a pattern); by liking someone completely inappropriate and random. It’s bound to end in tears so it’s probably best if I say nothing about it.

I also lost my best friend. I don’t mean she died, she just left me. I know it sounds a little dramatic, but everything that has happened recently has made me look at the bigger picture and who I want in my life. I understand people change, so I accept what happened, but I can’t help feel a little sad everytime I think about it. You expect your ‘BFF’ to actually be your BFF, not replace you because the grass is greener on the other side. Particularly with so much change and awkward feelings going on, it’s a little bit sad that she is not there for me to tell those things to.

On a good note, completion went through on the house on Friday. I am now a homeowner. I never thought at my age that would be possible, but these things happen. Now, I spend my time looking for storage beds, organising decorators to come in, pick out carpets and choose wallpaper for my new home. My main concern has been updating the address on my driving license, but apparently, you have to do these things one thing at a time. Walking into my new home makes me feel a lot more sensible, because it’s where professionals live. At the moment, I have a neighbour who smokes ‘medicinal’ drugs and then one who insists on retching outside every morning (i’m not sure why), so it’ll nice to have a change of scenery. Plus, I’ll have somewhere to park my beloved Jessie.

This is probably the light at the end of the tunnel as far as the mid-year goes, I can only hope for further improvements and happier times to come. This is dependent on whether or not I can afford the soft carpet I want and whether I manage to get over my love life problems, but such is life.

Typical Tuesdays

I was lying in bed last night thinking maybe I should go a la Bridget Jones and document my not so humorous life and ‘what I did today’. Surely someone will read my pointless tosh, its pretty much like being back at school and having to write down what you’ve done over the weekend!

Dear Whoever,

My day started with me being cold. I woke up with a nose like Rudolph and hair like it had been through a bush. After bullying Arran into trying my Alpen cereal stuff (Apple and Raspberry, try it its lush) and him dithering round trying to fix his bike and getting grease everywhere, I knew today was going to be a bit shambolic. I mean, I took a call for an interview in the shower this morning (first time for everything!) and Lowen (the rabbit) celebrated his birthday with a victory lap after stuffing his head in a cardboard box. Yes my house seems like a madhouse, it isn’t usually on a Tuesday, usually just me and the bunny, but Arran and his bike trouble happened to spoil the party.

So several cups of tea and Hay Day refreshes later, we manage to leave the house at precisely 2pm to visit the lovely man at the Post Office. This man must be at least 65, and as Arran put it ‘will die in that chair’. Always one to see the good side of life is Arran, although we did both agree that the man will probably get a tidy pension if he should ever leave the chair! Anyway after having an awkward moment with a chubby lady on the stairs and noticing that Greggs has had a fresh lick of paint recently, we tottered off to asda.

Now asda is where me and Arran usually get into fights, it goes along the lines of ‘what shall we have for tea…’, you know, the usual. We get down the meat aisle and Arran proclaims we couldn’t possibly have burgers in fear of eating horse meat! Firstly, they removed all the products with it in off the lines and secondly, we were never that cheap to buy the value burgers anyway! So he has this novelty idea that maybe we could slice a sirloin in half and use that in a burger bun……. 2 hours later and a small burger consumed, it didn’t leave much of an impression on me, apart from a stomach ache, so maybe we won’t try that route again. I’ll add a photo at the bottom so you can see what I mean, looked like it came straight from the burger van.

The rest of my evening and up until about 10 minutes ago consisted of more Hay Day refreshes (yes I know I am an addict) and shooting some annoying campers on COD while Lowen tries to assert his authority by pushing me with his nose…

All in all a pointless day. Tomorrow I’m at work where I will be reciting ‘would you like that in separate bags??’ 😀