I realise now it’s been over a year since my last post, so it’s safe to say I have been slacking a little. It has been a turbulent start to the year; I’ve started my MA course, broke up with my boyfriend, liked someone completely inappropriate, lost my best friend and purchased a house. I’ve only come across this again as for Uni we are looking at the use of social media/blogging for writing. These days, I am that busy drinking tea, making sure tenant references are completed and chasing Lowen (the rabbit) around the living room that I’ve kind of forgotten what’s important.
I know this is all a little depressing but so far this year has tested my mental strength. Separating from the big A after 4 years took some adjustment, however, it was going downhill anyway so there’s no love lost there. For the record, I wish him every success as long as I get all my money back. I’ve had some interesting conversations and moments with men, which has made me realise that most men of my age are complete idiots and have no idea how to treat women. I mean, one of them thought it was okay to be a f*** buddy – that didn’t last long. Now, I’ve found myself in an awkward position that also occurred late last year (I sense a pattern); by liking someone completely inappropriate and random. It’s bound to end in tears so it’s probably best if I say nothing about it.
I also lost my best friend. I don’t mean she died, she just left me. I know it sounds a little dramatic, but everything that has happened recently has made me look at the bigger picture and who I want in my life. I understand people change, so I accept what happened, but I can’t help feel a little sad everytime I think about it. You expect your ‘BFF’ to actually be your BFF, not replace you because the grass is greener on the other side. Particularly with so much change and awkward feelings going on, it’s a little bit sad that she is not there for me to tell those things to.
On a good note, completion went through on the house on Friday. I am now a homeowner. I never thought at my age that would be possible, but these things happen. Now, I spend my time looking for storage beds, organising decorators to come in, pick out carpets and choose wallpaper for my new home. My main concern has been updating the address on my driving license, but apparently, you have to do these things one thing at a time. Walking into my new home makes me feel a lot more sensible, because it’s where professionals live. At the moment, I have a neighbour who smokes ‘medicinal’ drugs and then one who insists on retching outside every morning (i’m not sure why), so it’ll nice to have a change of scenery. Plus, I’ll have somewhere to park my beloved Jessie.
This is probably the light at the end of the tunnel as far as the mid-year goes, I can only hope for further improvements and happier times to come. This is dependent on whether or not I can afford the soft carpet I want and whether I manage to get over my love life problems, but such is life.